TLC Unpolished spoilers indicate the Martones are why reality television was created. They run a niche business—a high-end salon—in a niche location—Long Island, where wonderful, rich, expressive accents are the norm. They are (self-described) “over the top.” A more perfect recipe for voyeuristic TV does not exist. Now, you may be thinking, “What do I care about the antics of some cliched Italian women and salon drama?” And, that’s fair. But, that’s also where the magic of reality TV comes into play. The members of the Martone Family are engaging, self-deprecating, and create drama out of thin air. And, you can almost see the train wreck situations starting from episode 1.
TLC Unpolished Spoilers: “Meet the Martones” – Season 1, Episode 1
First, we meet Lexi, co-owner of Salon Martone along with her sister, Bria. During the episode, we discover that Lexi is a nationally recognized nail artist—the kind of nail professional capable of creating those wildly kooky acrylic sculptures that no human woman (or man!) could ever realistically wear for too long. Her clients mostly come in needing their nails done/created for a special event, so we can assume that they can and do remove them for (ahem) practical, hygienic reasons. Lexi also begins to describe her overweight past. She divulges that she never felt comfortable being in the spotlight and it took placing in a national competition to get her to make a major lifestyle change. To the tune of a 130 lbs weight loss! Go, Lexi!
TLC Unpolished Spoilers: “Meet the Martones” – Season 1, Episode 1
Lexi’s newfound confidence seems to have given her the self-appointed authority to lord over her younger sister, Bria’s, and into all matters of her life. Bria is almost from central casting—long dark hair, outfits made from shiny, pleather spanx and rhinestoned booties are her idea of dressing down. Bria reveals that she has dated the same guy—Matthew—since they were teenagers. Despite multiple dalliances outside their relationship (one time, Matthew used her credit cards to pay for hotel room stays with other women!), Bria remains loyally by his side. Much to Lexi’s chagrin.
Matthew professes his love for Bria every time he’s on camera, and Bria eats it up, hook, line and sinker, like any 22 year old co-dependent woman would. I genuinely feel for Bria, having once been a 22 year old woman myself, but I hope she does listen to Lexi at some point this season, because it seems that she really does have her back.
The other curious thing about this family is that—although the girls are both card-carrying adults—they both appear to choose to live at home. Lexi does say she has another residence, but all the action takes place in the Martone homestead, which, ultimately, makes for better TV. Of course, the various boyfriends and side characters (the token grandmother “Foxy” makes frequent delightful appearances) filter in and out and just add to the charm this family exudes. As the first episode ends, Bria is proposed to by Matthew at her 22 birthday party, but then we find out that Matthew seems to have (altogether now) relapsed!
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