’90 Day Fiancé’ Spoilers reveal that Kalani Faagata and Asuelu Pulaa’s house hunting journey, Kalani and her sister Kolini went furniture shopping so that Kalani could, as she put it “step up her decor game”, but while they were looking at soft furnishings (a padded headboard is a no, by the way), Kalani spilled some tea on the condition of hers and Asuelu’s relationship.
Kolini innnocently asked how many bedrooms that the house would have because she had mentioned wanting a small house. Kalani said three bedrooms initially because it would be one for Asuelu and one for each of her boys, a completely logical answer. However, then she amended it to four bedrooms because she said that they would need a gaming/sleeping room for Asuelu.
’90 Day Fiancé’ Spoilers: Kalani spills the actual tea
Apparently, Kalani and Asuelu’s relationship has devolved into a roommate type situation. Asuelu only visits Kalani in their bedroom when he wants to be intimate with her. Kalani said that after awhile, she just got used to it and she said as a married couple that there’s just some things that you get used to. Also, in Samoan culture it’s common for couples not to divorce even when things are terrible between them because they feel they have no other option.
The thing is though, Kalani is living in the US, not in Samoa, so she has a lot of options, not just the one she’s been given. However she’s fallen into the trap that many wives across all cultures have at one time or another, and that is resignation. It’s clear that Asuelu doesn’t want to do better, so she has stopped expecting him to.
Kolini hit the nail on the head by saying that it’s so hard to be intimate with someone whom you are also having to “parent” and it’s clear that on some level Kalani not only fills the role of Mom to their two boys, but also fills that role for Asuelu because he just thinks that he can treat her any which way and she will just put up with it.
It’s clear that Kalani doesn’t really think she has a way out, and it looks like this is a combination of culture and Asuelu’s continued emotional abuse of her, after awhile you kind of give up fighting and prioritize other things. Kalani has prioritized her kids, but will she be able to back out of this house hunting deal if her situation with him gets worse? Stay tuned!!!
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