Last night, at the Oscars, Will Smith punched Chris Rock after a particularly off-color joke he made about his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. He joked about Jada’s decision to shave her head after she was diagnosed with the condition alopecia, a condition that causes one to lose one’s hair.
Chris Rock made a reference to “GI Jane 2”, prompting Will Smith to get up and smack the living hell out of Rock. Any woman will tell you that anytime a woman has to make a decision to shave her head, it’s an intensely personal, and intensely painful decision.
In Defense Of Will And Jada Pinkett Smith
Last night was a reflection of Jada’s year’s worth of pain. Will has had to watch as his wife has fought a battle against the image in the mirror, an image that for so many of us women, is an insurmountable battle. Oftentimes, a woman is expected to still be beautiful, even in the face of horrific conditions, like cancers, or other diseases that often not only steal one’s ability to feel good, but one’s ability to walk, see, or otherwise impair one’s ability to live.
A woman is still expected to “save face” and put on an image of perfection, even when she may not feel like it or she may have to jump through so many physical hoops in order to maintain that image.
They say beauty is pain, but why should we still be sticking by that awful adage in this day and age? Jada had to make a decision that was right for her about a medical condition that she had, last night’s “fashion choice” was actually not a choice at all but rather a decision of functionality for her, was it an easy joke to make?
Yes. Did Rock probably not know what he was saying? Probably, but if he’s going to roast Will Smith, then roast Will and leave Jada out of it. She wasn’t the one with a movie coming out, Will expected to be roasted, he did not expect Chris to come for his wife.
Another rather personal take, is that anyone who is saying that Will Smith shouldn’t have put his hands on Chris Rock, have obviously never been bullied before about their appearance, especially about physical conditions that they can’t help.
If one has never been bullied before over the way they look then it’s easy to say that Will Smith should not have laid his hands on someone, but for those of us who have been bullied about their appearance and think of all the times about which we wish we could have pulled a Will Smith Oscar Stunt? We totally get it.
Will Smith’s actions were the actions of a man who is deeply in love with his wife, who has watched her suffer over the past year with a decision that was obviously not easy for her.
He has watched her pain over losing her “crown” and he has probably felt powerless and unable to do something – all the money in the world cannot help you if your body does not respond well to the treatment it is given. It’s one thing to ridicule a fashion choice, it’s another thing to ridicule a medical decision, that borders on bullying.
Another personal take is that the joke in itself was bad, GI Jane was a movie that is now close to 30 years old so some of the people in attendance weren’t even going to get the reference anyway. It’s a little out of touch to those in the audience who aren’t at the very least in their 30’s.
(And a good portion of the influencers invited to last night’s events are not 30 yet, so go figure.) A lot of us grew up with that karate kid lesson about “not using your power” but I think a lesson like that teaches us to be powerless, the important thing to realize in a situation like this is when to use one’s power, and standing up for someone you love, about a medical decision that they had to make that they couldn’t help was a good use of that power. Sorry/not sorry.
