TLC 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 days finds that while watching the show I couldn’t help but notice that a few of these people need some advice. So here my heartfelt advice to some of the people from Before the 90 days.
Dear David: When you go to the Ukraine I would just like to advise you that the amount of sugar in edible panties is not healthy and you will need to load up on some protein as well. I would also recommend that you keep hydrated and that mini bars are very expensive. Please remember that when you get stood up by Lana for a fourth time.
TLC 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 days – We write letters; Before the 90 days edition #1
Dear Ed: Please, please, please start carrying a water bottle on all future outings in the Phillipines. I am worried for your physical health on these outdoor outings. They don’t seem to be doing you any favors. Also, perhaps you need to start pumping some iron or chewing some vitamins. Just… I’m concerned man. That’s all.
Dear Darcy: The planet of the Amazons has called and they want you to go home. That is why you are incompatible with earthling males. But before you board the Mothership please invest in a better bra because you were very close to a wardrobe malfunction in tonight’s episode.
Dear Lisa: Why do you look like Dustin from Stranger Things? Just with better teeth. You could don a baseball cap and a flock of seagulls haircut and be him for Halloween. Just an observation deary, no shade.
Dear Usman: Be honest, the condoms would have helped your peace of mind, wouldn’t they? We all saw that look of abject horror in your eyes when she reminded you of what transpired the night before. It’s okay buddy, just breathe, go get tested, and maybe next time make love with the lights off. It’ll buy you some time.
Dear Geoffrey: Get your name on that lease because you are going to be stuck paying for that apartment renovation in Russia. Because obviously buddy, that’s what she brought you there for. She has no intention of moving to Tennessee and has already implied she thinks it’s boring. Just get your name on the lease, buddy.
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